Has Kindness Gone?

Written by on February 25, 2019

Where has the Kindness Gone

As someone remarked to me just recently

The kindness has gone

It can certainly feel that way sometimes and while my general position is to think like a proton – always positive it has been challenging over the last few months to maintain this position.
I posted this over the weekend: “You don’t have to attend every argument you are invited to”


And around the same time, Linda Stotsky (@EMRAnswers) posted this: “In a world where you can be anything, be kind.” #SundayThoughts #SundayBrunch #SundayMorning


Both received a fair amount of (mostly) positive endorsements which affirmed my view that there is a desire of many/most to be positive, but was followed by some posts from Casey Quinlan (@MightCasey) and Dave DeBronkart (@ePatientDave) highlighting this horrific expose on the people employed to do content moderation that reads like a horror movie (The Trauma Floor).
However it was the piece on NPR Radio: Anger Can Be Contagious – Here’s How To Stop The Spread by Alison Aubrey (@AubreyNPRFood) – which in some respects feels titled incorrectly because the ultimate point is that:

Kindness is transmissible

That reaffirmed my belief that the kindness is there is just not getting through.
I’ve lost count over the last few months of the repeated instances of individuals and groups jumping in, oftentimes absent facts excoriating the latest target and the inevitable mass of people who then jump in on both sides, certain of their position and argument. In some cases, the action or behavior was mean or unkind and the mob certainly made sure to let that individual know often succeeding in trashing someone’s personal and work life creating meme’s that live on forever. There are plenty of examples but I see little point in calling further attention to them, the individuals and groups but rather focus on how we can all perhaps contribute to a kinder world

Perspectives

Almost every time these instances occur I am reminded of an advert (Points of View) from the 1980’s for the Guardian newspaper, that thanks to the wonders of the internet time machine are available to view. At the time it hit a resonant note with me emphasizing the importance of perspective and the lens we all view life through – everyone’s lens is different and shaped by personal experiences, connections and emotions many of which are invisible to others

Incremental Steps to a Happier Kinder World

Taking a page form my daily meditation teaching and one of their guidance points as you start to feel overwhelmed or anxiety approaches they say

1) STOP

  • S is for Stop
  • T is for Take a breath
  • O is for observe, referring to observing whatever caused the stress or anxiety
  • P is for Proceed

 

2) Try to Put Yourself in Someone Else’s Shoes

And I’d add another step in the process – try and imagine yourself in the other person’s shoes. I always encourage taking a walk in someone else’s shoes in an attempt to get a sense of what might be driving their thoughts and ultimately their behavior. We are all imperfect (at least I know I am and there are plenty of opportunities for improvement and reflection and my life is replete with mistakes and things I regret in hindsight).
If you observe something or someone behaving badly – it might be hard to imagine yourself in their shoes and to explain the behavior or actions but if nothing else trying to do so will always inform you and any response you have.

3) Do Something Nice for Someone Else

Given that kindness is transmissible try being kind to people online and in person. A simple smile aside from helping lift your own mood helps lift others moods and in most cases, people respond by smiling back which lifts your mood further.
Take a leaf out of the “Pay it Forward” movie and find something to do for someone else – you might be surprised at how good it makes you feel

Anger leads to more anger. But a single act of kindness can help stop the spread.

 
View at Medium.com


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