Easing Frustration
I get frustrated even though I try hard to not. Most of the day I amble along quietly absorbing the ups and downs, but that all comes to a screeching halt when I interact with some telephone systems and support. Not all are bad but some are so bad that by the time I get off the phone my blood pressure has doubled and for some time after I bet my voice no doubt betrays my irritation and my usually calm demeanor long since disappeared.
A recent instance with banking support got me thinking. Why was I so irritated. When I analyzed the actual substance of the interaction it was reasonably efficient and my problem was resolved. So why was I so irritated?
- Since I was calling support something had to be failing so that was Strike 1
- My expectations had been dashed – despite following the instructions (in this case calling via the online app so I was authenticated) that once the I ended up in a cycle of what felt like never-ending questions – Strike 2
- The Q&A portion of the experience appeared never-ending and I had no sense of the purpose of the questions – was it to do with my problem or part of “security” – Strike 3
Improving the Experience with an Apology
I recall being told you should never apologize as part of any presentation and I understand the principle but I find an apology goes a long way in relieving tension, especially if it sounds genuine
I know in the case of the banking experience it was not the individual’s fault, but I can certainly recall support calls with other businesses that I’ve started off frustrated but had a completely different endpoint thanks to a simple but heartfelt apology.
So too in medicine – I would always apologize for everything. It often started with apologizing for the delay in seeing me, the wait, the lack of information or updates you name it. But it carried on. There can be questions that we ask in medicine that can be embarrassing in nature and might sound insensitive – they are not meant to be but that does not change the patient’s perception. I would apologize for having to ask some questions.
I would apologize for the ignominy of having to be undressed and have me examine you in what is an extraordinarily vulnerable position. Did I appreciate the bond and trust that was offered to me by each and every patient? Boy was I sorry that my hands were cold, as was my stethoscope. You could tell it was a problem based on the reactive wince as you came into contact. Another apology.
I would always apologize if I had to stick a needle in you! Yes it is going to hurt, and I am sorry to be inflicting more pain to someone already likely feeling frustrated, scared and vulnerable.
You get the picture.
Tolerance Starts with Understanding
So here’s my suggestion for some incremental steps in a smoother path through life and especially in healthcare interactions
- Apologies are good and can help ease any situation – but make them genuine and heartfelt, not rote
- Providing a quick Summary of What to expect in a new Interaction can go a long way to helping people have positive experiences
- Adjust the above to the moment – it’s not necessary to explain every detail to someone who knows everything that is going on. And if you are not sure just ask – do you know or wolf it help if I explained.
- This applies everywhere, not just in healthcare and to both sides of the interaction
- All the above depends on listening (that’s why we have 2 ears but only one mouth 😀) so listen more!
